Kenergy's Textbook

A new year and an opposing team have the gall to develop nicknames....mind you Bodger and Understacker aren't really on the same scale as...er...Bags and Houses.

After the oppo completed their three hour warm up the sixes were lukewarmly contested by Selecta as scores of 5 (Bags) and 3 (Kenergy...though it did include a treble!) meant we were down straight away as Weekes amassed impressive three dart totals of 121 and...2.

Weekes 1-0 Selecta

A bully off on Warriors arrival sees Gigolo miss out (as usual when he makes the journey over from 'Kent') of the trebles and a hilarious dart leaves Bags out of the doubles.

The first trebles match saw Houses, Kenergy and Rampage...er...rampage their way to victory. I'm not sure what was more odd in this match - Kenergy's pint location during throws atop the doorframe or his 'textbook' 68 checkout....1, treble 19, double 5...he "likes to include a 1" apparently.

Weekes 1-1 Selecta

Then a trail of woe...

An uneventful second trebles match is lost by Devastating, Bags and Warrior amidst tales of how Warrior's flatmate has left and his girlfriend has left the country as she is an illegal immigrant (Its amazing he was able to concentrate enough on his bicycle journey to the pub to be able to balance some chilli and rice on a plastic plate)

The first doubles match included Devastating's suggestion that Gigolo should set one of the darts boys up with his sister (a lesbian). And Rampage calling for Kenergy to go for "treble 18, treble 18" only for Ken to find the double 17 bed. Unfortunately Dave's Bullseye for throw in the deciding third leg was cancelled out when he later got 8 and Weekes triumphed.

The second doubles match was also a home victory and was hailed with a squeal of excitement from one of Weekes' members...which is hard to understand seeing as Gigolo and Houses 'competed' with consistent three dart scores of 15, 11, 10 and 9.

Weekes 4-1 Selecta

Some serious singing for Warrior sparked a slight recovery as Rampage displayed magnificence with a 102 checkout of 20, treble 14, double top...topping his earlier season 101. A bonus point will surely be forthcoming...

Weekes 4-2 Selecta

Then the singles...

Ken got whooped by Ginger and Will narrowly lost to the fella who continually punched his chest in celebration during the evening...is he an ape?

Weekes 6-2 Selecta

A recovery was called for and began in a tight game between Gigolo and the most awkward action in the history of darts (new oppo nickname: Awkward)...a double three finishing it off. Devastating, in the words of Bags, "whipped" Understacker and Warrior brought us to within one with a first class three dart finish on 45 (though the oppo still being on 170 at the death didn't reveal the 967 bounce outs he had during the match.

Weekes 6-5 Selecta

Just the captains match and, prior to that, the final singles match to go...and who would you want playing in that very match...the man himself...Bags.

In a great match against Rufus, despite consistently finding the treble 20 and painfully close shots at double 16 for the tie, Bags failed to keep the recovery going as Dufus finished with a double 15.

Weekes 7-5 Selecta

Only the captains match to come and a solid display and 60 checkout from Devastating clinched a bonus point for only losing the match by one.

Final score
Weekes 7-6 Selecta

And there it is, Gigolo left for the English Channel enjoying his mini roll and contemplating the night's match and how Awkward, Dufus, an Ape and a ginger guy who never once untucked his t-shirt from his jeans during the entire night could have beaten Selecta. They did play well though.

Next time we may just have to bring in our secret weapon...and I'm not talking about Bags' clone...